The Happy Lover

We all often come across people that we wish we can spend the rest of our life with but the odds are against all that, there is always that one person you will never give up on, for anything in this world but yet again when the odds are so against you it is obviously impossible.

People often experience feelings of guilt when they put themselves first but that is exactly how it should be outside the context of Ubuntu, what I mean is that putting yourself first in situations that pushes you to consider the fact, that you also human and you deserve to be treated like one, is humanly right and fair, because I believe that for someone to be called selfish it would be because they are in a context or settings that warrants them to be labeled selfish for an example, you have more to give but you rather not give some of the things that they are not so important to have at once or it can be described as having the ability to help but you decide not to because you believe you are saving for the future but you do know it will not be necessarily important or needed to have all that, eventually selfish people end up having to lose more because they kept something of worth or with value for no reason at all and have to throw what ever that is at the end.

So there is a huge difference between knowing your worth and being selfish, those two are entirely two different things, I mean we all want to be happy lovers or have a happy lover, because if you are miserable your lover’s chances of being miserable are great too because this is a person that you spend most of your time with, I mean everyday you meet up, text and call them, I mean it is easier to tell when someone you love is happy or not and that has an effect on you too because I mean that is my babe there you know.

So how can I be a happy lover? simple be who you are at all times, whenever you meet your loved one try hard to make them value the essence of happiness and know that in every arguments and fights we should always talk about it, communication is key, tell them stories that will keep them interested in you such as your childhood memories, experiences and embarrassing moments that you have came across. We lose people we love because we are scared to lose them, what can you achieve when you have fear instilled in you? absolutely more fear of whatever that is because you more concerned about making sure this person does not get to know certain things about you and ask me, Can you ever be happy with someone you do not know? happiness is impaired by fear, lack of trust. lies, secrets, fake personality and above all the type of communication that already exists between the lovers.

Your happiness level definitely has an impact on your partners level of happiness not just in the relationship but in all the things they are engaged in.

Be as happy as you can be with yourself first and then try to make someone else happy too.

Part one of the happy lover:)

The world in my mind.

Ever lived in two separate worlds and felt the peace that other world brings to you more than the world you have to live in?

Fantasies bring about a sense of pleasure in ones heart because you are able to access the kind of happiness you are deprived in the real life.

In a fantasy world, you call the shots and everything gets done the way you want it to get done, is it that bad to have a fantasy in your head? well I am not arguing with the fact that one tends to lose their sense of touch into reality when entertaining the fantasies in their heads, but we cannot deny the fact that fantasies are a great method of dealing with overwhelming real situations in life.


Stop being bitter about it.

At times we find ourselves in places that we never actually wanted to end up in, but still we have a choice of either to evacuate the place or stay and if we do happen to stay, we should not be bitter about staying in that place.

For instance, if your tea does not have enough sugar in it, you will obviously increase the amount of sugar in your tea, well obviously by putting more sugar in your tea and not force yourself to intake the unsweetened, bitter tea, right? Not changing the circumstance you are faced with is an indication that you are okay with it.

All I am saying is that, as we are individually made to operate in this world, it is up to us individually to make sure that everything that we come across is what we can put up with, do not just be there to accept whatever that is thrown at you, if it does not taste accordingly? Just throw it away and stop being bitter about that.

There are far better things to do in life than to just wait for whatever situation you are facing to deal with itself, change is an action not hope.

Meaning if you actually want to change your bitter situation, you will have to act not hope that things will get better in time, what is time? Does it really heal the wounds? Or the bitterness? No, I do not think it does heal or change anything.

What only changes is that you evacuated whatever that it was, that was bitter for you and decided you know what? I have to feel better after this situation.


Stop hoping that the bitterness will turn into a sweets, leave or enjoy the bitterness. Stop being bitter about it.